Tag Archives: Self Help

April 16, 2016 · 11:47 am

MARC AND ANGEL HACK LIFE

This wonderful set of self empowering promises just arrived in my mailbox from Marc and Angel Hack Life. With their permission I share with you now. Check out their website for the complete information on how to order their books and sign up for their newsletter.

Make these promises to yourself, and keep them forever.

Repeat after me: “I promise…”

1.  “I will not hold the past against myself.” – Your problems, your weaknesses, setbacks, regrets and mistakes teach you if you’re willing to learn, or they will punish you if you’re not.   So let them teach you, every day.  Take everything as a lesson learned.  If you regret some of the decisions you have made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself.  At that time, you did your best with the knowledge you had.  At that time, you did your best with the experience you had.  Your decisions were made with a younger mind.  If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have today, you would choose differently.  So give yourself a break.  Time and experience has a wonderful way of helping us grow and learn to make better choices today, for ourselves and those we care for.

2.  “I will own my life and never deny responsibility for it.” – Through the grapevine, you may have learned that you should blame your parents, your teachers, your mentors, the education system, the government, etc., but never to blame yourself.  Right?  It’s never, ever your fault… WRONG!  It’s always your fault to a certain extent, because if you want to change, if you want to let go and move on with your life, you’re the only person who can make it happen.  It’s YOUR move to make.  It’s YOUR responsibility.  Own it!

3.  “I will live a life that feels right to me, not one that looks right to everyone else.” – Give yourself permission to follow the path that makes YOU happy.  And realize that some people in your life will refuse to walk beside you as you embark on this journey; they simply won’t approve no matter what you say, and that’s OK.  Sometimes when you commit yourself to creating your own happiness, it clashes with the perceptions of others.  Sometimes when you gain something great, you have to let go of something else.  And sometimes this ‘something else’ is a relationship that only wants you to do what they want you to do.

4.  “I will let go of relationships that are obviously not meant to be.” – Most people come into your life temporarily simply to teach you something.  They come and they go and they make a difference.  And it’s OK that they’re not in your life anymore.  Not all relationships last, but the lessons these relationships bring to you do.  If you learn to open your heart and mind, anyone, including the folks who eventually drive you mad, can teach you something worthwhile.  Sometimes it will feel weird when you realize you spent so much time with someone you are no longer connected to, but that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.  You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.  We all are. (from the “Relationships” chapter of our book)

5.  “I will not let any situation permanently steal my smile.” – Even when times are tough, take a moment to pause and remember who YOU are.  Take a moment to reflect on the things that have real and lasting meaning in your life.  And then smile about how far you’ve come.  Honestly, nothing in this world is more beautiful and powerful than a smile that has struggled through the tears.  Any fool can be happy when times are easy.  It takes a strong soul with real heart to develop smiles out of situations that make us weep.  No matter how long it takes, it will get better.  Keep going.  Tough situations build strong people in the end.

6.  “I will keep stretching myself beyond my previous level of comfort.” – Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.  Know this!  When you’re struggling, that’s when you’re growing stronger and smarter.  The more time you spend there, the faster you learn.  It’s better to spend an extremely high quality ten minutes growing, than it is to spend a mediocre hour running in place.  Every day, you want to practice at the point where you are on the edge of your ability, stretching yourself over and over again, making mistakes, stumbling, learning from those mistakes and stretching yourself even farther.

Go to Marc and Angel Hack Like by clicking here.

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June 15, 2012 · 6:14 am

BEWARE PSYCHIC VAMPIRES: GET HAPPY!

Two paintings by Vincent Van Gogh both painted in 1890–“Almond Branches in Bloom” and “At Eternity’s Gate”. Which one makes you happy?!

Ever notice how being around negative people — a.k.a. “psychic vampires” — can bring you down? We’ve all experienced a colleague who comes to the water cooler carrying the bad news about who got fired recently, or dumps all the venom she feels for the boss on you. Being around negativity can really bring us down.

The good news? It’s now been scientifically proven that happiness is contagious. That’s right: Research compiled by the Harvard Medical School and the University of California at San Diego proves that our moods are directly affected by the people we hang out with, and even by the people they hang out with. The study demonstrated that our social networks (family, friends, neighbors, professional colleagues) influence us greatly whether we realize it or not.

Like a virus, happiness can spread from person to person with direct contact. The flip side, of course, is that sadness and negativity spread in the same manner. However, the research proved that sorrow did not spread as efficiently and completely as happiness did, which is good reason to be cheerful (and pass it on).

How can you do that if you’re unhappy with your life and career? First, rule out clinical depression.

If you’re feeling sad, overwhelmed, disinterested in anything, sleeping too much or not sleeping at all, these symptoms indicate that a visit to your doctor is in order. If you simply hate where you work, there is something you can do; you can choose happiness. That’s right: Happiness is a choice. We can set up healthy boundaries, adopt an infectious upbeat attitude, and work toward changing our career direction to match our goals.

• Surround yourself with happy people. Avoid the office gossip and other toxic people in your life. Spend more time with happy people that you know.

• Pump up your endorphins. Exercise releases happy hormones in your brain. If you’re a couch potato or a desk jockey, no wonder you’re feeling blue. Leave your desk and go for a walk around the block on your break if you can’t get to the gym.

• Stay hydrated. Along with proper diet and nutrition, remember to drink plenty of water. Without it, we get sluggish, and happy people are energetic ones.

• Count sheep. Getting a good night’s sleep is half the battle. With so many of us suffering from sleep disorders, no wonder we’re so grumpy. Lack of sleep causes irritability and lack of focus on the job. If you’re having problems sleeping consult a physician.

• Get clear on what is missing from your current employment and take steps to get what you need. Make lists of the pros and cons of staying with this gig or leaving. Take inventory of what you like about your job and what you don’t. Write down what would make you happier with this job or the next one.

• Take control of your situation. One of the reasons for unhappiness is that we feel we have no control over our situation. But whose life are we living? Speak up. You may not be able to get the boss to agree to everything on your wish list, but with some negotiation you may get some of what you want, you just have to risk asking for it.

Beware: Choosing happiness is contagious. When you choose happiness, you will be influencing others around you to get happy, too. When that happens, you may actually discover that you like where you are after all.

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June 9, 2012 · 6:24 am

ABOUT FACE

Snake massage (photo courtesy TMZ)

Snake massage (photo courtesy TMZ)

Change takes us out of our comfort zone. Making big changes definitely shifts your ch’i (energy) and stimulates growth of mind
and spirit.
Here’s an example of how we can sometimes be resistant to change. For years I have had oily skin prone to breakouts and shine. To counteract this condition, I was accustomed to wearing face powder. Since it has been part of my makeup preparation for thirty years, I didn’t think twice about it. Moving in with a partner who is allergic to powders, potions, fragrance, and the like, I was faced (pardon the pun) with causing him discomfort, or, changing my routine.
Women will be able to relate to how difficult this decision was for me. Makeup is our “war paint”, the armor we put on to face the world, putting our ‘best face  forward’, and, in a sense, hiding behind a mask. Although I am not one to wear heavy makeup, I did rely on powder to reduce the shininess of my nose. Since it bothered my partner so much, I finally took the plunge and stopped wearing face powder. Guess what? My skin was no longer shiny. Probably hadn’t been for years since I am now nearer to 50 than to 15. My skin had changed without my notice. In fact, I looked even better without face powder! This small change made me stop and consider how we tend to get stuck in patterns of our own choosing. Ask yourself what “security blankets” you are holding onto that may be holding you back from making positive changes in your life? What changes could I make that would bring my ch’i into alignment with the person that I am now (instead of holding on to the person I once was)?
Will I be ready to try the snake massage pictured here? NO WAY! 🙂

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April 18, 2012 · 8:36 am

TRUTH AND CAKE ASKS AN EXCELLENT Q

Sometimes you gotta ask yourself the tough questions. Truth and Cake blogger Rian asked a doozy with this one:

What Did You Give Up, To Get What You Got? | Truth and Cake. Knowing your own answers to that question can help you lay the foundation for attracting more of what you want into your life. How? The more you know yourself and your goals, the better equipped you are to arrange your feng shui to strengthen your foundation.

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February 4, 2012 · 8:10 am

LOVE YOURSELF, THE REST WILL FOLLOW

Nothing’s better for your feng shui than taking good care of yourself. How else will you have the energy to take care of others? Putting your own happiness first is the best gift you can give to the world. All the rest will flow from that. This doesn’t mean I’m advising you to be selfish or greedy like a Wall St. Banker. Your happiness doesn’t derive from doing harm to others. But it doesn’t come from doing harm to yourself, either. Read on:

Think Positive 30 Blog has an uplifting short post on loving yourself that cites Lucille Ball as inspiration. Check it out here.

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April 4, 2011 · 9:03 am

TIME TO PLAN YOUR INTENTIONS & TREASURE MAP!

It’s that time of year again: Treasure Mapping time! This is when you can make use of the powerful first new moon of the astrological year to set your feng shui intentions for your life. Tracy Abbott was my guest blogger and gave us detailed instructions on how to prepare for ==and make== a personal treasure map.  Start at this post from last April and continue to part 2 at end.

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December 11, 2009 · 12:30 pm

ARE WE HOARDERS?!?!

FYI this is a generic hoarder shot, not the case I worked on!

I was at somebody’s house the other day and guess what I found? Numerous items that were either unused, still in the box, or broken and discarded. Here’s the inventory:

1 portable d/w (unused)
1 portable a/c (used once, 3 years ago)
1 mosquito repellent machine (with new battery, still not working)
1 invisible dog fence (still in box)
1 ping pong replacement table (still in box)
4 older computers (no longer used)
2 bicycles (with flat tires)
1 Xacti camera (new in box, unable to figure out how to work it)
1 apple airport connector (new in box, unable to figure how to work)
4 extra internet routers
3 dogloos (for 2 dogs)
3 closets full of no longer worn clothing (circa 1972-1999)
10 boxes of old furniture showroom catalogs
Etc
Etc
Etc

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. No, I wasn’t at Cybernet headquarters…but the shocker was, it was all found in my own home! Am I a hoarder? Nope. But my mate is on his way to being classified as one. So you see, clutter is an ongoing struggle and needs to be addressed on a regular basis. Especially if your mate lives by a philosophy opposite to feng shui! We’ll begin spring cleaning for the new year soon. What’s hiding in plain sight in your house?

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October 12, 2009 · 9:28 am

NETWORKING WITH INTENTION

Good morning, world! Sometimes opportunity can come when you least expect it and from sources you never dreamed would help you. How can you be ready for such opportunities?

It doesn’t help to be needy or desperate. Instead, you have to be in a happy –or at least tranquil– state of mind. Reach out to everyone you know. That’s right, call up old friends and contacts and reconnect. Simply to say hello and how are you. Do NOT lament about your troubles or explain that you are looking for a job or how bad business is. Instead, simply reach out and be positive. Without expecting anything in return other than to reconnect to someone in your life. If they ask what you are doing, tell them. But concentrate on all the positives and say you are open to new possibilities.

This puts you back on their radar. It builds your networking circle back up and casts the net wider and wider. So, at some point one of those contacts may think of you when an opportunity comes up. This is a good thing to do whether you are looking for a new job, a new relationship, or a new home. And remember, keep it positive and focus on asking how the other person is. They will remember YOU in a positive light.

Try it!

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October 4, 2009 · 1:37 am

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FENG SHUI

Billionaire come-back-kid entrepreneur Donald Trump has a Feng Shui consultant advise him on all of his building projects. Oprah’s had her feng shui done, too.Legendary fashion designer Liz Claiborne and her business partner husband Art Ortenberg attributed a great deal of their outstanding success in creating an apparel dynasty to their following of the principles of Feng Shui. Most new buildings in Hong Kong ( like the prestigious Bank of China designed by acclaimed architect I.M. Pei) have to be approved by Feng Shui experts before construction begins.

If that doesn’t convince you that Feng Shui is more than a New Age trend, consider this: the architect of our nations presidential residence, The White House, incorporated the western form of Feng Shui known as “geomancy”. Geomancy, like Feng Shui, is a practice of placement to create harmony and balance and allow the optimum flow of energy.

Photo from unknown source...thanks!

Photo from unknown source...thanks!

How does Feng Shui fit into today’s working world? Especially how can we apply it if we are merely the worker bees and have no control over the actual hives? We can start by focusing on what we DO have control of: ourselves and our own space. At home AND at work.

Even if you are a mail clerk without an office you still occupy a space within your company. Maybe instead of a desk, you have only a locker. Or a cubby shelf. Or a mailbox. Claim that space! Make sure it is going to help bring better opportunities your way instead of blocking your progress. Keeping your space — whether it be desk or locker — very tidy and clean will improve your work life. Making it pleasing to your eye by adding personal touches is fine, as long as they are appropriate to the work setting you are in. IE: You don’t want a pin-up calendar in your cubby, even if nobody ever sees your locker space.

It’s about being your best and doing your best. It’s about keeping a clear open path for opportunity and abundance to find you no matter where on the corporate ladder you are. It’s about creating room for expansion. Just ask Donald Trump.

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August 31, 2009 · 1:33 pm

RECIPE FOR HEALING A BROKEN HEART

Love Puzzle (c) Katy Allgeyer

Love Puzzle (c) Katy Allgeyer

I recently read the “Heartbroken OW” blog and decided I needed to post my recipe for healing a broken heart today.

You’ve heard the expression “love sickness”? The term goes back a long way and many greater writers than I (Shakespeare comes to mind) have covered the symptoms brilliantly. It hits most of us at some stage of life and it can be difficult to shake it off. People can carry the attachment to the wrong person for years and years. It can be crippling to men or women who never seem to be available emotionally when they finally meet a potential new lover.

Some feng shui tips to help you detach (and you MUST detach if you are ever going to make room for a new, healthy lover):

*Take inventory of any gifts he/she gave you, photos of your lover or the two of you together, letters, emails, etc and eliminate them from your life. You can do this by tossing them in the garbage, OR you can ritualize it by burning them in a fireplace or bonfire. Say out loud as you let go of these items that remind you constantly of your lover/the affair: “I let go of (lover’s name) with love as I no longer need (his name) or any reminder of (lover’s name) in my life. I banish all negative energy and make space for a new healthy love to come into my life.”

*Sell off engagement rings or valuables and give the money to charity or to your parents.

* If you have sheets and bedding that you used together with your ex, eliminate them—-give to a pet shelter. They reuse them for pets. Buy a new set. Of course, ultimately if you could afford it, would be a good idea to also get rid of the mattress but if not possible financially you can just smudge your bed real good (see below).

* Smudge yourself and your home with sage or with incense. Waft it all around the space and say “I banish all energy that does not belong to me (and if you have a pet, include them as their energy does belong with you) and I reclaim my space for me (and my pet)!” You will want to do this throughout your home and repeat it nine days in a row and once a week or once a month thereafter. Notice how you feel when all his/her energy is cleared away.

*You may have to cut the invisible cord that is attached to your solar plexus (your energy lines to him/her and his/hers to yours). To do this, you’ll want to consciously be willing to let go, and say out loud that you are cutting all cords to (his or her name) and make a scissoring motion over your middle torso with your hands or with a real scissors, envisioning all cords being cut. They may reattach so you may have to repeat this process several times over a span of time in order for you to be clear of your ex.

*Now this part is difficult but I’ve been there myself and I know you can do it when you are ready: do NOT answer his/her calls, emails, letters etc. Put a block on his/her emails (or have them auto dumped into your trash folder so you don’t even know when he/she has contacted you), block him/her from your facebook etc pages, just DETACH, DISENGAGE, MOVE ON.

*And do not initiate contact with the exlover either. RESIST the urge to reach out when something great happens in your life or sharing when someone in your life dies or calling to tell your ex that you saw so & so and they said to say hi. Etc, etc. etc. Do not look for a reason to make contact.

*Get a pet if you don’t have one. Animals love us unconditionally. There is no better remedy for loneliness and depression than a dog or cat snuggling next to you. Rescue a pet today!

Time does give you new perspective. The recipe above is if you truly want to heal your broken heart and move on. Be gentle with yourself and take it one step at a time. Good luck!

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