Mothers and daughters share secrets and this is one I recently kept from my mother. I left my 90 year old mother’s house this morning feeling really good about my ruse. What trick did I pull on her? I cleaned her bathroom without her knowing it. You see, my mom lives alone and would never ever ever permit me–or anyone–to give her that kind of help. It would embarrass her and make her feel bad that someone thought she wasn’t up to snuff on her own housekeeping. I could see that she needed some help, though, and so I snuck in a huge bottle of Clorox, some scrubbing bubbles, and some rubber gloves. Then I proceeded to run the water so mom thought I was taking a bubble bath. Instead I scrubbed the tub like mad…years of soap scum buildup and not a little mildew on the shower curtain (I’d offered to replace it many times). Soak a plastic shower curtain in bleach long enough and it WILL come clean and there’s no need to add it to the local landfill! My mom has always prided herself on her homekeeping skills and I’m pretty confident that if she notices the difference she will believe that she cleaned the bathroom herself and simply forgot that she did. And her eyes will sparkle at her own ability to take care of herself at her advanced age. This is what Jewish people refer to as a mitzvah, a good deed. In feng shui terms, this type of good deed is good karma for the giver and makes you feel really good. Have you done something similar that you want to share or suggest with the readers of Feng Shui By Fishgirl?
Category Archives: Love & Relationship
Two paintings by Vincent Van Gogh both painted in 1890–“Almond Branches in Bloom” and “At Eternity’s Gate”. Which one makes you happy?!
Ever notice how being around negative people — a.k.a. “psychic vampires” — can bring you down? We’ve all experienced a colleague who comes to the water cooler carrying the bad news about who got fired recently, or dumps all the venom she feels for the boss on you. Being around negativity can really bring us down.
The good news? It’s now been scientifically proven that happiness is contagious. That’s right: Research compiled by the Harvard Medical School and the University of California at San Diego proves that our moods are directly affected by the people we hang out with, and even by the people they hang out with. The study demonstrated that our social networks (family, friends, neighbors, professional colleagues) influence us greatly whether we realize it or not.
Like a virus, happiness can spread from person to person with direct contact. The flip side, of course, is that sadness and negativity spread in the same manner. However, the research proved that sorrow did not spread as efficiently and completely as happiness did, which is good reason to be cheerful (and pass it on).
How can you do that if you’re unhappy with your life and career? First, rule out clinical depression.
If you’re feeling sad, overwhelmed, disinterested in anything, sleeping too much or not sleeping at all, these symptoms indicate that a visit to your doctor is in order. If you simply hate where you work, there is something you can do; you can choose happiness. That’s right: Happiness is a choice. We can set up healthy boundaries, adopt an infectious upbeat attitude, and work toward changing our career direction to match our goals.
• Surround yourself with happy people. Avoid the office gossip and other toxic people in your life. Spend more time with happy people that you know.
• Pump up your endorphins. Exercise releases happy hormones in your brain. If you’re a couch potato or a desk jockey, no wonder you’re feeling blue. Leave your desk and go for a walk around the block on your break if you can’t get to the gym.
• Stay hydrated. Along with proper diet and nutrition, remember to drink plenty of water. Without it, we get sluggish, and happy people are energetic ones.
• Count sheep. Getting a good night’s sleep is half the battle. With so many of us suffering from sleep disorders, no wonder we’re so grumpy. Lack of sleep causes irritability and lack of focus on the job. If you’re having problems sleeping consult a physician.
• Get clear on what is missing from your current employment and take steps to get what you need. Make lists of the pros and cons of staying with this gig or leaving. Take inventory of what you like about your job and what you don’t. Write down what would make you happier with this job or the next one.
• Take control of your situation. One of the reasons for unhappiness is that we feel we have no control over our situation. But whose life are we living? Speak up. You may not be able to get the boss to agree to everything on your wish list, but with some negotiation you may get some of what you want, you just have to risk asking for it.
Beware: Choosing happiness is contagious. When you choose happiness, you will be influencing others around you to get happy, too. When that happens, you may actually discover that you like where you are after all.
Click here to see more sweet “awwww….i’m lovin’ these pics” photos!…. at the Clayzmama.com blog! Looking at nature shots like this gives your ch’i a lift. And THAT’s good for your feng shui!
Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: “My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter. ”
Marriages mostly begin with the ritual and ceremony of a wedding. Standing up publicly to proclaim your love for each other in front of family and friends and even strangers is a time honored tradition in many cultures. This is a form of setting intentions and stating the good things we wish to manifest as a couple. What happens if we divorce? Divorce can take its toll on both partners and of course if there are children the emotional trauma is often intensified.
What if there were a ceremony that honored the couple’s time together and helped bring closure and dignity to the end of a marriage? According to the New York Times Sunday Magazine article published April 29th more and more couples are untying the marriage knot as formally as they began. The latest trend is to have a Divorce Ceremony. Feng Shui By Fishgirl thinks this idea of mutually setting intentions for parting ways has excellent feng shui merit. I also believe this would go a long way towards healing wounds and freeing up ch’i energy so that everyone involved can move on with their lives in a more positive way. What do you think?
People are most interested in the feng shui of their bedrooms. I’m not surprised since we spend a third of our lives in there! Let’s analyze the bedroom shown above that I got from the Open Spaces feng shui website:
GOOD FENG SHUI:
*The canopy of draped fabric is a good feng shui solution that neutralizes the sloped ceiling. This is also a great solution for too-high-ceilings, creating a cozier sleeping space for you. However, see below for negatives about this particular canopy.
*Pretty, soft colors and expensive bedding are feng shui enhancers. That being said, the sheets could be improved (see below).
NEEDS FENG SHUI IMPROVEMENT:
*There’s only one bedside table and lamp. There should be one on either side of the bed for optimum feng shui balance.
*The canopy has a split down the center of it. It’s better feng shui if the fabric used was all of one piece, symbolizing unity for the couple sleeping here.This canopy could easily be corrected by sewing the two panels together.
*The bed seems to be pushed into the corner/wall. There would be more ch’i circulating if you had the second bedside table and that would act as a spacer between bed and wall.
*The circular metal wall art to the right of the bed is hung too high.Make sure it’s at eye level for best viewing and perfect feng shui.
*Too much yang energy created by square shapes. Bed is square and its posts are also squared, the bedside table is a square, the lampshade is a square. More circular yin energy is needed for balance.
*The bedding color is white and it’s linen. White symbolizes metal and unlike in Western countries, white is the color donned at funerals. The sybolism of sleeping between white linen sheets is akin to a burial shroud. If you are a single person looking for love, avoid this type of bedding. Instead, go for shades of peach, pink, red or a print using these colors on white to break up the white.
For the record, Feng Shui By Fishgirl believes that king sized beds get a bum rap and are misunderstood by feng shui newbies. It is true that queen sized beds are recommended as a feng shui cure for those couples needing more romance in their lives as it brings a couple closer together due to the smaller sleeping space provided. It’s also true that many king sized beds are atop twin boxsprings with a divider down the center–a feng shui no-no that can be cured easily with a device like this one. But the real reason feng shui practitioners did not recommend king sized beds is because it used to be that a king sized bed was as big as you could get, thus you already had achieved the best and there was no room left to expand. That was a problem for attracting wealth opportunity from the universe. If you had a king sized bed you were proclaiming to the universe that you already had attained all the wealth you needed. We now have even bigger sized beds: the California King and even custom mattresses. A regular king sized bed is fine (and provides a better nights’ sleep! Always good feng shui) unless you are a singleton looking to find a mate. Upgrade after you find yours!