Tired of being solo when the whole world seems coupled up? Many of the people I work with want to improve their wealth area but I’d say finding a new relationship (or strengthening an existing one) is also the number one priority of most people. When I do an analysis of your home and interview you about your habits, will I find any of these feng shui blockers to a new love?
Problem: Photos of your ex. In your home, in your wallet, on your computer, in photo albums, tucked away in boxes. These reminders of your past serve as placeholders signaling the universe that you are either not over your ex or already taken. In any case, any new love interest you might meet will wonder if you truly have room in your life or your heart for a new relationship to bloom.
SOLUTION:Dump the photos. You heard me. Go cold turkey if you really want to bring a happy healthy new relationship into your life. Exception? If there are children involved you should put photos away in a storage bin so they will always have their family history and give it to some other family member to keep safe for them until they are old enough to receive the photos.
Problem: Love notes, ticket stubs from special events you went to with your ex, stuffed toys and mementos from the happy times in the relationship. One of my clients even had a framed wedding invitation hanging over the entrance to her bedroom—and she’d been the one to decide to divorce her husband two years prior because she didn’t love him. Another client used the date he asked his exwife to marry him as his computer password…4 years after their divorce his password remained unchanged and his lovelife stagnant.
SOLUTION: For the same reasons mentioned above: rid yourself of all this Ex-Love Clutter and you’ll be well on your way to attracting someone new.
Problem: Divorce papers, settlement papers, reminders of the breakup.
SOLUTION: Why are you holding on to these items? Buy yourself a shredder and move on (the universe is watching!).
Problem: You still have your engagement and wedding rings. If you’re saving them for a child, DON’T. Do you want your child to inherit divorce chi energy on their wedding day?
SOLUTION: If it’s a valuable stone, sell it and put the money in a trust fund for your child. If there are no children involved, splurge on a new wardrobe and vacation where you might meet someone interesting.
Problem: You want to maintain a friendship with your ex but one or both of you doesn’t know how to do that without overstepping boundaries. For example, when emailing each other you still use your ex’s pet name when addressing them or your own pet name when signing off. Or, when you have a “big moment” in your life, you find you must share it with your ex before anyone else (that includes a big problem where you ask for advice, good news or bad news, etc). Maybe you find out your ex is in the hospital and instead of a simple “Get Well Soon” message, you inappropriately run to their bedside and use the opportunity to work through your own intense feelings on them while they are trying to recover.
SOLUTION: Make a clean break. No need to keep the lines of communication open (unless there are children involved—in which case, you will communicate about issues concerning only your child’s welfare). You still want to be friends with your ex? Save it for a later date. Maybe one of you has moved on but the other hasn’t. Give each other the gift of time to heal old wounds. Time to clear out the Ex Love Clutter so they can make room for a new love. By not engaging when your ex has a moment of weakness and reaches out to you, you’ll be doing him or her a huge favor and you’ll be doing yourself one, too. The universe will take notice and send someone new your way.
Problem: You have a new relationship but it feels like something is keeping you from ‘going to the next level’.
SOLUTION: You may think you’ve moved on–and even moved in together–but you’re still blocking yourself from experiencing a deeper relationship with a new love. You may be afraid to get hurt again. That would be natural. You can use feng shui to help you remove that fear and all the other obstacles to love. Take inventory of your life. If you recognize any of the scenarios I’ve described, take steps toward the solutions.
It may take some time. It may bring up some emotions you thought you were done with long ago. It may be unthinkable to toss out your past as if it never existed. You may want to get some professional help. Be gentle with yourself. See what happens with your new love once you’ve cleared out the remnants of your past relationships.
4 responses to “IS YOUR EX BLOCKING YOU FROM FINDING A NEW LOVE?”
BTW, keeping tied in to your ex can feel like addictive behavior. It’s not that we want to be back with our exes, it’s the memory of being in relationship and what that feels like that we are addicted to. The best way to get that feeling back is to make room for it in your life by clearing away all the stuff tied to your ex! Disengaging means NOT following your ex on Twitter, NOT reading your ex’s blog, NOT friending your ex on facebook, NOT texting your ex to give you their opinion of your website/resume/new haircut, NOT sending your ex birthday greetings, NOT counting on your ex for support when someone in your life dies….it’s NOT easy. Especially if you’re still alone and have nobody to fill that empty hole that used to be filled by your ex. Trust me: you’ll never fill that hole if it’s still filled with your ex.
See this post also: Recipe For Healing a Broken Heart at https://fengshuibyfishgirl.com/2009/08/31/recipe-for-healing-a-broken-heart
I found this very helpful. I have been learning the ropes on my own and taking advice wherever I can get it.
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