MERLOTTE’S GETS THE FENG SHUI BY FISHGIRL TREATMENT

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Feng Shui By Fishgirl is a fan of the hit HBO series “True Blood“. It’s killing me (no pun intended) that I have to wait for months and months to see another episode. But maybe the show was a little too rich for my blood (pun intended this time).

The locals of Bon Temps spend half their time at Merlotte’s so I thought it would be fun to analyze the feng shui of this watering hole. Here’s what I will tell Sam when I see him and he better have an ice cold Abita brew and a red envelope ready for me after my consultation.

1) The residual negative vibes Qi (energy) from Maryanne’s brawling revelers needs to be cleared out: get a smudger and do a space clearing at least once a week and definitely after the bigger parties. Reclaim your space, Sam Merlotte!

2) Your office is in the Love & Relationship area of the bagua yet your love life is a mess: clear out the cases of beer and other clutter. Make sure your desk is in the Command position. Add touches of red–but not blood red, okay?

3) The kitchen appears to be located in the Wealth and Fame areas of your bar from what I can tell. And you are getting kind of a reputation but not really for the food. Better work on that etouffe’ recipe and get a goldfish tank for the Mouth of Chi.

4) Balancing the elements is crucial to good feng shui. Too much wood, Sam. Too much wood. Add some metal, earth, fire and water to the mix and add a “Swamp-tini” to your drink menu. The martini is just for fun not for feng shui.

5) Blockages of any kind are bad feng shui. Put in a dog door already, Sam. Duh!

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Filed under Celebrities, Creativity & Future Projects, Fun

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