I recently read the “Heartbroken OW” blog and decided I needed to post my recipe for healing a broken heart today.
You’ve heard the expression “love sickness”? The term goes back a long way and many greater writers than I (Shakespeare comes to mind) have covered the symptoms brilliantly. It hits most of us at some stage of life and it can be difficult to shake it off. People can carry the attachment to the wrong person for years and years. It can be crippling to men or women who never seem to be available emotionally when they finally meet a potential new lover.
Some feng shui tips to help you detach (and you MUST detach if you are ever going to make room for a new, healthy lover):
*Take inventory of any gifts he/she gave you, photos of your lover or the two of you together, letters, emails, etc and eliminate them from your life. You can do this by tossing them in the garbage, OR you can ritualize it by burning them in a fireplace or bonfire. Say out loud as you let go of these items that remind you constantly of your lover/the affair: “I let go of (lover’s name) with love as I no longer need (his name) or any reminder of (lover’s name) in my life. I banish all negative energy and make space for a new healthy love to come into my life.”
*Sell off engagement rings or valuables and give the money to charity or to your parents.
* If you have sheets and bedding that you used together with your ex, eliminate them—-give to a pet shelter. They reuse them for pets. Buy a new set. Of course, ultimately if you could afford it, would be a good idea to also get rid of the mattress but if not possible financially you can just smudge your bed real good (see below).
* Smudge yourself and your home with sage or with incense. Waft it all around the space and say “I banish all energy that does not belong to me (and if you have a pet, include them as their energy does belong with you) and I reclaim my space for me (and my pet)!” You will want to do this throughout your home and repeat it nine days in a row and once a week or once a month thereafter. Notice how you feel when all his/her energy is cleared away.
*You may have to cut the invisible cord that is attached to your solar plexus (your energy lines to him/her and his/hers to yours). To do this, you’ll want to consciously be willing to let go, and say out loud that you are cutting all cords to (his or her name) and make a scissoring motion over your middle torso with your hands or with a real scissors, envisioning all cords being cut. They may reattach so you may have to repeat this process several times over a span of time in order for you to be clear of your ex.
*Now this part is difficult but I’ve been there myself and I know you can do it when you are ready: do NOT answer his/her calls, emails, letters etc. Put a block on his/her emails (or have them auto dumped into your trash folder so you don’t even know when he/she has contacted you), block him/her from your facebook etc pages, just DETACH, DISENGAGE, MOVE ON.
*And do not initiate contact with the exlover either. RESIST the urge to reach out when something great happens in your life or sharing when someone in your life dies or calling to tell your ex that you saw so & so and they said to say hi. Etc, etc. etc. Do not look for a reason to make contact.
*Get a pet if you don’t have one. Animals love us unconditionally. There is no better remedy for loneliness and depression than a dog or cat snuggling next to you. Rescue a pet today!
Time does give you new perspective. The recipe above is if you truly want to heal your broken heart and move on. Be gentle with yourself and take it one step at a time. Good luck!